Following on from last Sunday, in the early hours of Monday morning I was in a state of extreme pain from head to toe. It was muscular in nature and made basic movement very challenging. It may have been impacted by the start of the Nivestim solution injections, with the first one being injected on Sunday evening. The use of paracetamol was started Monday morning to counteract the effects, which helped. That situation continued through Tuesday and Wednesday, with the pain levels easing each day, but the physical tiredness on my body increasing. That reached its peak on Wednesday with that being arguably the hardest day I have endured since this situation began. We always hear of people feeling ‘wiped out’ when receiving chemo, but to date, I have not had that level of impact; until Wednesday. The first three days were interspersed with sleep, just to let my body cope with what is an increasing level of combined side effects from the various medications being put into my body.

Being surprised by the level of the side effects straight after session no. 5, both Sandra and I have been discussing what has been taking place and what may be driving the impact; to summarise the past couple of weeks. Once I was admitted to hospital, the chemo oral medication was halted, along with the steroids. I was told to wait at least five days after the last antibiotics had been administered, before beginning my usual chemo. The chemo team confirmed that I would restart my oral meds after my chemo. Therefore, Chemo no. 5 last Friday, chemo oral meds and steroids began again Saturday, NIvestim injections started Sunday evening, paracetamol added daily from Monday morning. We think that combined reintroduction / new additions have combined to hit me like a sledgehammer. That made for a very challenging week overall, at the most basic of levels of movement and trying to do anything. Alongside that was the appetite impact, with very little food being consumed through the first three days of the week.

On the Wednesday afternoon, I had a call from the PIP administration team (I was made aware of those some weeks back and submitted a claim), who went through a series of questions, as part of the medical report they need to write for my claim. After answering the questions, the person was clearly in a state of, “Now I have to write a report on this”, to which I laughed and offered them good luck! The person on the other end of the phone could clearly see the unpredictability of my health situation and how inconsistent the past 6-months have been. Irrespective of the outcome of that claim, it was another summary reminder of how variable things have been and just what has unfolded (working through it each week, we do not stop and look back at the past 6-months).

Thankfully, things began to ease from the early hours of Thursday onwards and by the weekend, the body pain had returned to a somewhat ‘normal’ state. The appetite has improved, but still managing around half of what I would normally eat for the main meal, compensating with the lunchtime lighter food (easier to consume), being around 70% or normality.

Moving forwards to Friday evening, as I was leaving work for the day, I had a call from Dr. Raman, my Oncologist. He enquired as to whether I had been given the Nivestim solution and had I administered it, to which I confirmed yes, the last one being injected the previous evening. He then went on to say that he had reviewed my case and was stopping the chemo, therefore no session no. 6. His opinion is that it will not make any difference to my overall situation, whether I have one more session, but he felt that the impact was increasing and it was better to halt there. The current plan from him is to continue with the steroid until the current course finishes (up to Friday 14th). The oral chemo tablets will continue until my time ends. He will sort a new PSA blood check alongside a CT scan. That is aimed at assessing whether these five chemo sessions have had the intended impact of trying to contain the spread.

Psychologically, how do I feel about those decisions? I am not complaining about not having to have another chemo session, or another round of the Nivestim solution. Session no. 4 and no. 5 have been challenging and gave me side effects and situations which made them both hard to get through, physically and mentally. On the flipside, I have the apprehension of knowing the CT scan will be done and then what that will show up; a spread of the cancer? A negative impact on the remaining timeline? However, if that is the case, that is beyond my control and we will adjust accordingly. Up to now, the ‘rollercoaster’ has been very challenging and we now await the next phase.

The weekend gave some normality with the grandkids visiting on Saturday and me having the ability to play with them for a while. That was preceded by some essential DIY / repair work in the garden. Dan helped me and done the majority of the hard work, but by the end of what should have been a quick fix, we were both tired. Sunday was a relaxed day with Karl and Rachel visiting with us for a couple of hours, then a good catch up on video call with my sister Susan and Paddy. Therefore a nice end to the week, catching up with those people closest to us; we even managed to squeeze a movie in, although watched in about 4 sessions, due to the various catch ups. A real notable difference in the start of this week, versus where I ended up!

Thanks for the continued interest, support and personal comments, very welcomed and helpful.