As always, health aspects first, which currently are very dominant. The variable pain continued and is increasing and following the emotional end to the previous week, I managed to secure a GPs appointment on Tuesday morning. They ruled out sciatica and advised me to see about getting a scan or two done. On Tuesday afternoon, the cancer unit rang, as they had received the update from the GP, and informed me that they would sort an MRI scan. That took place Thursday afternoon, with Sandra taking the afternoon off to join me. Now a case of waiting to see what the scan shows, what it may mean, regarding every aspect of my health.
In between, the emotional rollercoaster continues and the anxiety levels are palpable. This is not just for me, but also for Sandra too. She can see the impact on me daily and it resulted in her having to take Friday off. She did initially go to work, but was back home before 10am, herself in an emotional state. As you may imagine, the mental pressure at the moment is very high and we are both struggling with daily aspects, as a result. These mental aspects are as debilitating as the physical ones can be. Having grown up during The Troubles in the 1970s and 1980s, I have always regarded myself as a very resolute person, calm and capable of dealing with very stressful situations, whilst remaining calm; we were subjected to a lot during those times, in that region, but it did give us some very valuable life skills. This current situation is a whole different thing. Playing through the potential impact on your remaining time and your own mortality, is driving me insane. The pain increase is notable and caused me to have broken sleep on Saturday night. I am not at the point yet of taking pain killers - something I avoid as much as I can, but I am not far off deciding to take some, to see if it eases some of the harder / more painful days.
Tuesday was an all round busy day, with the GPs first thing, followed by a drive to change the loaner car. The replacement one is identical to my own car, just a hybrid version, which is a bit of a change, but much more suitable than the first loaner; I now have to wait for the gearbox to arrive, then be fitted to my own car. We had the grandkids on Tuesday evening and during the drive home, I received a phone call regarding the MRI. Difficult to try to hold it together, when the grandkids were there, but that is what we did.
Thursday was ‘military history’ shaped, as I met up with some of my contacts within western Kent. The first was Robert, a long time friend, who was in the area and it tied in nicely with my existing plans to go to Colin’s. I only had a short stint with Robert, but it was enjoyable and nice to talk history geek junk. I then moved on to Colin’s and carried on in the same vein, just for longer. He had a mutual customer there at the same time, so the three of us spoke more history geek stuff, until it was time for me to hot foot it back home, in time to pick up Sandra and go for the MRI. I could have stayed at Colin’s all day and it was a nice distraction from the current headspace.
Saturday was a resting day, with some book aspects being caught up on, against poor weather where we are. Sunday is when we took the chance to go out for a couple of hours and pound the pavement of a fairly local shopping area. A nice lift to get out and walk around, whilst getting some fresh air around me. Since the show last month, I feel that I have been at home, not being able to do much (resurgent cold and back pain), for the past month or so. We were only out for less than 2-hours and both Sandra and I struggled with the physical pain, but we pushed ourselves a little.
A variable week and one which was dominated by the physical and mental challenges, broken up by some outdoor activities.
Always appreciative of your continued comments and support.
Regards, Peter