Health-wise, this week was pretty much a repeat of the previous update, sorry to bore you regular readers. The key aspect at the moment is the numbness at the base of my back, which is increasingly affecting my legs and parts of my lower back. I have been trying different things to off-set this, including new exercises and sitting on a variety of chairs - but to no avail.

As you may imagine, this is causing me deep anxiety and my head is venturing down a myriad of rabbit holes, in potential causes and what may be coming next. Sandra, Alanna and Karl have all suggested talking to the Dr, but up to Sunday, I have not been in the head space to contemplate that. However, unfortunately, the emotional pressure became too much, early Sunday afternoon and I had a breakdown. I am back in that place, where I was in August of 2022, after they conducted the post-chemo scan. I do not want to know, but I cannot carry on not knowing, so I need to know, but I do not want to know. It has been driving me insane, but I am now at the point of needing to contact the Consultant, which I will do this coming week. The dread of what this may mean, cannot be articulated accurately; it is constantly there, very palpable and all-consuming - time to talk and see what may be coming next. I can say that this is amongst the deepest anxiety I have felt, to date.

Connected to my health, I had my next 3-monthly hormone injection with the nurse. Thankfully, a little pain for a couple of days, but no repeat of the bad injection from one of the previous appointments.

We looked after the grandkids on Tuesday, at theirs, which included putting them to bed. That was part of us helping Alanna and Dan in their business ventures. We do not get the chance to do this as much as previously, mainly health driven, and it was nice to be able to do that. Always amusing observing the grandkids in their daily rituals, as they continue to grow, become more canny and take full advantage of Sandra and I; if you are a grandparent, you will know that none of us would have it any other way! We seen them at the weekend, as usual, always a high point and one that is key, when wading through the health challenges, mental and physical.

Saturday also gave me a chance to catch up with Karl, as it was his birthday. He popped around before midday, for us to give him his pressies and birthday wishes. Although he invited me to his afternoon celebrations, neither Sandra nor I have ever been enthusiastic pub visitors. Add to that the current health challenges and I had to decline.

In between all of the above, the work continues on the Witt book, with further key documents being unearthed, studied and added to the manuscript; it truly is a fascinating project to research.

I also had an update on the car saga, with the diagnosis being a new gearbox needed. That only came about after further chases on my part. Unusual to have a gearbox going at 12k miles, but there we are. They expect it to take another 2 weeks, with the gearbox being sent from the manufacturer, then they need time to replace. They have indicated that I can have a courtesy car that is more in fitting with my needs / matched to the one they have, which will hopefully take place this coming week, as I await the final work.

Overall, a challenging week, in various regards, with the motivation to focus on anything being hard. However, I try to do that as much as I can.

Thanks for your interactions.