The past couple of weeks seem to have went by very quickly with a series of key thought processes taking place during them. Those thought processes have been facilitated by the Consultant phone call, my career choices and informing my boss of them, meeting with close friends and discussing life, death and the universe, alongside Sandra and I coming to some key realisations. In the space of the last few days alone, we have made some defining decisions for how we think 2024 may play out for us, against the backdrop of this disease and all that it brings. Each one of the above changes, on their own, bring a degree of intensity in thought processing and their associated practicalities. To have them all condensed into the space of a couple of week, has made for a very intense time for both of us, but thankfully a psychologically rewarding phase.

We have assessed our combined situation, analysed key elements and come to the conclusion that, If I can make it to May 2024 (55th birthday), my current plan is to officially retire. If you had have asked me that in 2022, I would have clearly stated that it was not an option. As we move to the end of Year One / the first anniversary of being given the prognosis and of living with cancer, we have went through a lot of physical and psychological changes. It has reframed every aspect of our life and it has forced us to completely rethink every single aspect of our being. The rollercoaster we have ridden to date, is something that I have tried to detail each week and many of you have commented on, in a positive manner (thank you!). Whilst we do not know exactly what is coming next, we have begun to make decisions around choices we feel we have.

To get to this point has been challenging and we are not 100% certain yet. However, the career choice was liberating and the subsequent decision and key analysis of what is possible (financially), has been equally liberating and inlightening. We move into the final month of 2023 much more aware of our overall situation, that we did in the opening month of this year, a year that changed everything for us, forever.

I am sharing this with you, as it is an unexpected development and one that has evolved very, very rapidly, in the space of a couple of weeks. It is a surprising element of ‘life with cancer’ and a result of assessing, ‘life, death and the universe’. My family and friends have helped me get to this stage and the support given by many of you readers has been a key part of this. Let’s see what comes and watch this space.

Health-wise, pretty much been more of the same, but with my hands and feet certainly increasing their sensitivity. On Saturday morning, I woke up with a very red, sensitive and sore palm of my right hand - it has not been like that for months. The varying back pain is there and challenging on certain days. I have been asked if I am taking pain relief and I am not. That is my choice and I working through the varying pain daily. I will, no doubt, get to the stage where pain relief will be essential, but I will fight that need for as long as I physically can. Connected to this variable pain (we think), is our quest for a better degree of sleep comfort and we are now two days away from receiving our new mattress; hopefully that will ease things.

On Thursday, I has a lunchtime meet up with Matt (former boss) and Simon (former peer colleague) from the holiday company I worked for pre-Covid. It was a good chance to catch up, update them on my situation and hear about the key updates in their lives. Simple things on paper, but very critical elements in dealing with cancer and aiming for a degree of normality. They were the first non-family members to be informed of my 55th birthday decision, made only the previous evening with Sandra. Many of my friends and a number of my former work colleagues are of a similar age range and key elements of my updates are very topical for them too.

We rounded off the week, on Sunday, with a lunchtime meal with Kim and Andy, former work colleagues and friends. This was a reschedule of our cancelled meet from a few weeks back, due to illness on Kim’s part and a precaution taken by all of us, not to risk things. It was a great end to an intense week and alongside the superb company, was the excellent food - recommended by Kim and Andy - and it did not disappoint. I have included a photo of the 4 of us at the end of the meal. Whilst working through this disease, the importance of good friends cannot be overestimated.

To end this week’s update, I will tease you with something special that is being formulated at the moment. My wife, Sandra, has got to the stage where she has penned some of her thoughts of what it is like to live with someone suffering from cancer. It is not complete yet, but we aim to include this in the next week or two.

For now, thanks for the ongoing support and overall interest in my situation.

Regards

Peter