Let me start the week with the health updates. The Consultant’s call took place mid-afternoon on Monday and lasted the usual 5 minutes. His opening gambit was that he is not concerned with how things are currently. That kinda knocked Sandra and I back a little. Great news, absolutely, but then we asked him a couple of questions. What about the rise in PSA?, “it will rise and you are 2.5 years into your treatment. It is about the rate of the rise”. He will monitor that, but he told us to expect it, the hope is that it will be a relatively slow rise, but let’s see what unfolds. I told him about the groin discomfort, to which he replied that it had nothing to do with the the AD world situation and that it will be be muscular or skeletal. That has left us scratching our heads, but I am with the physio in 2 weeks, so will chat to him. The Consultant will talk to me in 4 months time and with that, the call was over.

Great, yeah?. Well, for us, not quite. This developing situation of the rising PSA and the groin discomfort (which had led to me stopping cycling for the time being), has led Sandra and I down a singular path, psychologically, expecting bad news from the Consultant and a series of follow on actions. We should of course be pleased and we really are, for certain. However, to immediately turn your brain off from what has been building now for at least 2-months, is not something that is easy to do. We now feel mentally tired and also not really able to fully relax, as we will be awaiting each new blood test results. We know the Consultant is seeing countless patients who are all at various stages of their diagnosis and journey through their AD world, some of which may be close to the end of their journeys. However, for Sandra and I, every twist and turn of my journey in this AD world, is new, unknown, comes with deep concern, many different thought processes on every aspect of our current lives; that all comes with a big large slice of anxiety and mental pressure, constantly. I have a dark sense of humour and I aimed to lighten the mood a little, when talking to Sandra in the aftermath of the call. In that, I summed up the current mental situation as one where the Grimm Reaper had been moving along the street next to ours, over the past couple of months, getting closer and closer to our home. On Monday, that Grimm Reaper go the junction of our street, but walked the opposite way, with a look and comment of “Not coming for you just yet”.

I began to write this to help others in my situation, or similar challenging health situations. I know through the long list of comments and contacts that many of you have taken the time to write, or talk to me about, that my ramblings have helped some of you, or those close to you and for that, I am very pleased and humbled. The one consistent aspect of this AD world and one that has at least a large, if not larger, impact, is the psychological / mental battle of dealing with an extended journey through the AD world diagnosis and successful treatment.

The initial focus is always on the physical and rightly so. Determine what is going on, suggest a treatment plan, agree to that, hope it works; it does! Live with a changed life, adjust to the hourglass situation, aim to do as much as you can, enjoy time with family and make lasting memories with family and close friends. Then there is the psychological / mental aspects, which are the unexpected impacts, but they are deeper and constantly there. This past number of weeks has been amongst the most challenging yet, for both of us and my children. A heavy weight on our minds that has had us living in a not too pleasant place. It has been ‘physically’ lifted after the phone call on Monday, but it has not yet been mentally lifted. This fight requires many weapons to survive and I guess we need to toughen our mental resolve to make the most of what is left; we have not found that so easy of late.

Only one walk this week, on Wednesday (13:04) seen me with a walking buddy, in the shape of my nephew. We have had family visiting since Saturday (Nephew since Tuesday) and that has resulted in changed plans. On the Saturday, we visited a spot that has a lot of meaning to us, going back 25+ years. The walk down to the main spot (the original Winne the Pooh Bridge in Ashdown Forest) was steep, as was the return leg back up to the car park. That in effect gave me a ‘second’ walk, so not a complete change with regards to my planned walks.  

I hope this longer insight this week highlights all of the aspects of living with a deeply impactful medical situation may be helpful to some of you. We are exceptionally pleased that he told us what he did, we just need a little time to breath easier and we’re not there just yet.

On non-AD world aspects, that start of the week allowed me to sign off the printing of the new Veteran’s book, which is now underway. Just the cover to sign off, but that will come once the internals are printed, as they can confirm the spine width then and I will adjust the design accordingly. I also completed the divisional-sized formation overview that I had been working on over the past week or so (one of the Berlin battle formations, so more involved). I will now be pausing all book related activities for the next couple of weeks.

That pause is due to family visiting, which began on Tuesday with my nephew arriving from Dubai. He is my sister Susan’s son and is like an adoptive son from a very young age. My sister, her partner, her daughter and her grandkids arrived on Friday night and we have begun an extended week-long period of spending time together and undertaking various activities. The trip is mainly for my nephews 40th, but we are also partly recreating a key holiday for us all, from 1999, with some fun ‘reenactments’ planned. My kids spent a lot of time with my nephew and niece when we were still living in Northern Ireland and all of our key photos from those years have the 4 of them in them. It is nice to have them all together again and my son Karl managed to get some time off work and make the long journey back to Kent. On the back of the challenging weeks Sandra and I have been enduring, it is nice to be surrounded by our complete, immediate family (Karl back for a few days), plus my sister and her family, a rare opportunity that we last enjoyed 9 years ago when Alanna was married. Fun to be had, more memories to be created and time to relax and enjoy the company of close family.

In summary, superb news from the Consultant, some key book milestones reached, family all together and time to try to relax a little. (This week's photo shows Sandra and I on Pooh Bridge, ready to play Pooh Sticks)

Please do not underestimate the help that your continued support of this Blog provides and you have our deep appreciation for that.

With our sincerest regards
Peter and Sandra