Week 9: w/e 27th September 2026
Hello to you all and thanks for your continued interest. If you have been reading these from the start, you may have noticed a significant change for this new week; we’re now into single digits, regarding the ‘countdown’. That countdown was based on the lower end of the original prognosis, wayyyy back in January 2023. Back then, no-one could see how things would play out and whether I would still be writing these now, and that is still the case; the new prognosis is an educated guess and that is all. If things remain as they are, I will hopefully go past the ‘0’ mark, then see what comes after that. For now, It is a psychological milestone and one I was unsure I would see, and this past week had a number of psychological aspects to it.
Health-wise, I have been dealing with a dry throat this week, which has impacted my voice to a deeper level. It may be cold related, but I do not think so? My hair is thinning and then on Thursday, whilst in London (see below) getting ready, there was a notable amount of hair follicles on my clothing, to a whole new level. My scalp had a similar sensation to when this all started, not quite a tingling, but you can almost feel the hair lifting. By Friday, the shape retention was there, but I am fully expecting a max exodus of hair, imminently. Despite having gone through this once already, the anticipated loss of my hair for the second time is impacting me far more than what I expected. It is causing me a lot of anxiety and taking up a lot of my thought processes this week. It is a very outwardly visual aspect of receiving chemo treatment and I know that, when it happens, I am back at that place where you can see people looking, and wondering, which sits alongside me seeing it go and knowing that it is a symptom of the stage I am at, in this overall battle. It is tough, and I am counting down to when it will just separate from my skull completely, something that worsened as the week came to a close. The next chemo session is Monday, which will no doubt compound that aspect.
Alongside that, the taste remains ‘flat’, mostly, whilst the appetite continues to recover; a weird ‘conflicting’ balance. We had physio on Monday and he did his usual job of sorting my back pain out, with a particularly notable knot on the left middle side. On Wednesday, I was slightly out of kilter, with my head being the main issue, but kind of settled down during the day.
The way that Sandra’s days off have been planned of late, has mostly meant that the start of the week is when I am focusing on my writing. That was the case this week and more key progress continued in the ‘unnerving pace’ that is prevalent at the moment. One important project I started this week was to begin the editing of Hazel’s autobiography and am one-quarter the way through the manuscript. I made a promise to publish this for her, in a large way as a thanks for the unique help she has given me over the decades, in my quest to learn from the history makers. I am aiming for a 2027 publication of this. I also gave the ‘Sommer 1943 (Div. DR version) its first edit and pass through. Alongside that, a further four ‘117 biographies were done (54 now), but they are the more indepth ones. The range of the people I am covering in that project have files that contain two pages, all the way up to more than two hundred; I am in the ‘middle ground’ of the file sizes right now. I also completed the final edit of the Münkemer book and sent it back to Mike S, who very quickly rechecked and gave it his final sign-off (thanks Mike!). It is now with Alanna for her to begin the proof reading, which means we are still on course for a pre-Xmas release.
In between that writing focus, I took a couple of hours out, on Tuesday morning and met up with my scooter friend Davy. We had a very pleasant couple of hours sitting in a beach side cafe near him and went through some real indepth and interesting conversation topics, while enjoying a balmy day, weather-wise; very enjoyable.
Thursday, or ‘Mad Thursday’, was an interesting day and the foundations of what unfolded, began two months ago. We booked concert tickets to see Snow Patrol a couple of months back, and they are probably the final band that we have not seen in concert yet, having seen many, many bands over the decades. We did know that the developing situation may preclude us going, but we went ahead and booked the tickets. Since then, the delayed chemo start date then moved all following appointments back. The third element was my car MOT, which had to be booked within a certain timeframe - the slot free was Thursday.
So, ‘Mad Thursday’ Part One: that involved an early morning departure to the hospital for the pre-chemo blood test. There were delays and in total, we were there two hours, for a blood test that takes 10-minutes and a chat with the nurse, which takes 10-15 minutes. Out of our control, but it was impacting what we had in for fixed times, for the rest of that day, and this gave us some stress.
Mad Thursday - Part Two. A rapid drive home for a very quick lunch, switch cars, drive to the garage to drop the car of for the early Friday morning MOT certification, walk to the train station, get the train, get to the hotel, get changed, get to our meal venue in time (we walked through the door of there less than 10 seconds before our slot started, have the meal, then get to the concert. A ‘fun’ filled day with no spare time, but we fitted everything in.
The decision to travel to London was made on Thursday morning, once we assessed both of our situations. The day before had been a bit ‘iffy’, but thankfully, Thursday morning was mostly normal. We have had to cancel a variety of plans over the past few months, but we both really wanted to get to the concert; it was nice that we actually made it. The venue was the Royal Albert Hall and we have attended other events there. As part of those previous events, we had used a very nice and very convenient hotel, within a decent walking distance. The final element of the ‘event’ was our meal booking. Again, in the past, we had found a traditional German restaurant and the food was superb, so we rebooked there. This time around, not only did we have a superb meal, but we had a couple next to us who engaged in interesting conversation for the time we were there, with us having many ‘shared’ conversation topics. The weather was superb, so we sat in the garden pavilion, overlooking a wooded park area. It gave us a taste of Bavaria, in both food and atmosphere, only in west London - It really added to the evening, then we still had the concert to attend!
A short walk to the venue, and our anticipation was high. Pleased to say that they did not disappoint! Right from the off, their music blasted through our bodies and they put together a very visual spectacle, which provided a nice backdrop to the superb singing and music. We have been fans of Snow Patrol for some time, but it is only now that we managed to obtain tickets to one of their shows. Their songwriting is deep and resonates with us, some of it, even more so now. The second half of the day was another deep psychologically impactful aspect of this week. Not just whether we could go or not, but everything connected to it. Trying to have a ‘day out’, when very recently, even ‘basic’ days out had to be called off. Add to that the thrill of a hotel stay in a hotel that we knew was good, coupled with the meal. Thankfully, it all came together and we were very aware and ‘alive’ to enjoy the day, as it unfolded. From the time efficient and ‘event-jammed’ day, to the unexpected hotel room upgrade (very nice indeed!), to the superb meal, with great unexpected company, to the soul-filling concert.
During the early stages, they played one of their most well-known hits, ‘Chasing Cars’. It is one of my favourites from them on my playlist and, as he was singing it, I had a lot of emotions rising rapidly. The fact that we ‘made it’ and were there, after the great meal, enjoying a ‘day off’ from battling the disease, was to the forefront of my mind, as each line of lyrics was being belted out. The appreciation of the ‘moment’ was alive within me and I could not stop thinking of Sandra, our current situation and what our lives together have meant to us both. I will take the unusual step of repeating some of those lyrics, which for me on that night, were welded firmly to my life with Sandra:
Those three words. Are said too much…………..They're not enough
All that I am. All that I ever was. Is here in your perfect eyes (Sandra). They're all I can see.
An evening that was absolute food for the soul, heart and head, and something that both of us really needed……..and really embraced. It has been tough, of late, for all of the aspects you will have read about. We deeply enjoyed our ‘night away’ and it has lifted us a lot.
Friday was recovery day for both of us, after a day spent on our feet, with little time to sit and when we did, not the usual comfort set up. Saturday saw us nip out for a bit of browsing in Hythe and a garden centre near Maidstone, with a few choice purchases for Sandra, a nice relaxing change of scenery. Sunday was a chores-filled morning, then the grandkids for a couple of hours in the afternoon.
In summary, another productive week, one that had some key physical impacts, and that was in tandem with time with friends, but the cherry on top was Thursday evening and everything that gave to us. Thanks for the time and support, you are making a difference peeps!
Regards, Peter